Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Don't Squeeze The Quisenberry

Why dislike Byron Quisenberry’s The Outing aka Scream? It’s a modest, quiet horror film that seems to have one foot in the early 70s and the other firmly resting in the early 80s. It has a calm, steady rhythm broken up by loud moments and a climax that is suddenly there and gone. It has a rather cryptic explanation for why it’s doing what it’s doing, which has a strange sense of dread wrapped around it. And, every few minutes the camera goes off on odd tangents quite unlike anything else in American films at that time.

If you spend 82 minutes watching a slow film that doesn’t seem to really do much, I can understand the need for something (anything) to justify the end. The Outing presents it’s explanations very assuredly but there is something missing. And, it’s not the something missing of Final Exam and the motives of its killer, which is explained in a comment made by one of the characters in an off-handed manner. It’s not the “Who is that guy exactly?” of Don’t Go In The Woods. The Madman in that one is a Wildman raised in the woods (with a decent piece of real estate) who is protecting his home.
The Outing is different…But, before I discuss what the heck is going on in the film, I should probably give out a little plot. I don’t know how much of this is needed. A group of around 12 people (2 guides, 10 vacationers) are on some sort of canoe trip. They spend the night on an old Western ghost town street, which may be a real Old West street or an Old West Street movie set, long abandoned. They seem to be heading somewhere more important and just staying here for the night. Soon after darkness sets in someone/ something begins to kill them. The next morning, their canoes are gone and they have to stay in the town for another day. That night, the killing begins again but not before a strange visit from Woody Strode on a horse. He tells an odd tale about a Ship’s Captain and the troubles they had on the sea. Then, he goes. The killer makes an all-out attack on the group until Woody shoots it. The killer is never seen.

All of this is framed by an odd bit in a room (which I am convinced is somewhere in the ghost town) with a couple of paintings and a dresser with a clock and three figurines on it. The figurines are of the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. The opening is a shot of a painting of a ship on a windswept sea. Then, we see the figurines and then the clock, which strikes midnight. The sound of something being sliced through is heard and two things drop. We pan back and see the baker and candlestick maker have lost their heads. The eyes of the butcher turn, fast to the camera.

I know the rhyme. These three men were in a tub getting up to something. No one quite knows why they were there. Something dirty, something wicked. The butcher here seems to silence the other two. But, they’re not meant to be on a whaling type-ship, are they? They’re in a tub or a small rowboat. The ending moments don’t really help either.

We see that the clock is at midnight. The butcher loses his head. We pan up to see the portrait of an African American gentleman who I believe is the captain. The camera fades to the date in the corner: 1851. So, the killer is the ghost of the captain inhabiting the ghost town. It kills anyone who enters there. Woody Strode is his first mate. His rambling tale is an apology for the Captain’s behavior. And, in the end, he stops the killing and the butcher dies.
Does that sound right? Because that is not completely from the movie. I’m extrapolating a bit. I’m wondering if the killer is invisible. That would explain why we never ever see it but we see cleavers, scythes and axes lifted slowly off of walls. Maybe that’s how it is able to so easily get everywhere. People turn and see a cleaver floating through the air and then it whacks them! Who are the baker and the candlestick maker then? The Company Men? Is it a black revenging themselves on white thing? Why these people? What crime could Alvy Moore have committed? And, why is a Captain from the 1850s inhabiting an old ghost town street somewhere on the West Coast, nowhere near the ocean? Doesn’t it seem an odd spot? Shouldn’t he be haunting a wharf in New England?

I’ve watched this film about twenty times. Every time I do I get a little bit closer to what I think is going on but I never quite hit it. Sometimes when I get to the end of one viewing I forget what I learned the previous time. For me, that’s all part of the fun. But, there is more to the film’s appeal than unexplainable motives. There is the whole atmosphere, the style, the odd cast and the general overall creepiness of the whole affair.

I know I may stand alone here but this film still creeps me out. The slow pans through the ghost town at night give me a shaky feeling whenever I watch them. People don’t say much in this movie. And, many times, the camera floats off of them when they do. The dark buildings are scary. When the one man is yanked back into the building and the doorway slams in the camera’s face (lens), my skin crawls. Lou sleeping under the staircase and hearing something go up the steps sends me shivering. The way Alvy Moore seems to see something in one of the buildings and does a little spin makes me glad that Mr. Kimball never went on vacation. And, the few shock moments, the moments when the film bursts onto another level, are as effective as they are surprising. The two big moments I’m thinking of are when the motorcycle rider is tossed through the door and when the axe slams down on Andy’s neck. If you are caught in the rhythm of the film, these two moments can stop your heart for a second.

The whole thing moves at such a slow, deliberate pace but in a different way than other films of this nature. The camera is almost always moving here. There are no shortages of close-ups and coverage in the scenes. This isn’t a film where the camera sits on one end of the room and everyone acts and the next scene begins. The camera has a different set of motives from what we see on screen. And, it knows where the weapons are, which is always a plus.
The camera focuses on a person as they look around or say something. Then, the camera will slowly pan or track away as if it knows that we know what’s going on there but something else more interesting is occurring elsewhere. I don’t recall ever quite seeing anything like it in a film. Possibly in some Argento stuff, where something is occurring and the camera suddenly floats away to reveal something else to the left of the main characters. But, The Outing has less purpose than an Argento film. I always felt that an Argento tangent is very important to the film. It’s revealing information to us. Quisenberry pans or tracks away and seems to be exploring half the time. At first, it’s curious but, once the killings start, it’s just being mischievous by driving us towards the killer when it knows that you can’t kill the camera.

When the Final Girl is a pudgy guy somewhere in his thirties (LOU!) you know that something’s askew. The film feels a bit like a slasher but the ages of the cast (probably late twenties to one real old guy) belie that. I’m not sure what Quisenberry was keeping an eye on but it’s not the pulse of the nation at that time. There’s no nudity and very little gore. The characters are so vague that every time I watch it and see several women huddled together I always think “1…2…3? Where’d the other one come from?” Lou and the jerk are the only ones who stand out. But, neither of them really do much. Everyone is kind of awkward around each other once they realize that any of them could be the killer. So, there are lots of long silences. No one is witty, no one is a wiseass. They’re just normal people who get trapped in an odd, life-threatening situation. They become even less relevant as characters when you think that Woody Strode’s speech is purely for us. They can’t possibly benefit from it because they would need to see the room that we see in order for real sense to be made.

So, what do we have? A deliberate, creepy film that revels in its own low-key oddness. That, from a distance, like Final Exam and The Last Slumber Party seems to be a regular run-of-the-mill horror film that never seems to take off. It seems to want to be a part of the early 80′s slasher craze but doesn’t really know how. It seems classier. When Andy is thrown around the saloon, it seems rather violent until you think that Quisenberry is a stunt man so, naturally, any stunt work is going to be stellar. Why is there no blood? Because, it’s about the stunt, more than the blood. I wish there had been more moments like this but it’s not a problem. The Outing is a film that seems to very clearly say “Here’s what’s going on!” and then defiantly makes little sense. By that I mean, I think Byron knew what was going on but he can’t quite get it to work, to connect. People have to make too many suppositions based on vague information. It’s all of these elements that bring the film together for me and make it something that I enjoy returning to, once or twice a year.
It’s not a well-loved or even liked film. And, its pace can be a bit much. (I almost always drift off during Woody’s tale.) But, watch it with an open mind and just feel it…as it were…The film works. I’d love to see a nice, widescreen version of it. But, I don’t know about commentary and such. Once I find out what’s going on, it may lose some of the magic. I don’t remember Bergman saying exactly what The Silence was about. I’d hope that Mr. Quisenberry would be relatively calm about what he was up to. Keep the mystery.

We champion all kinds of odd stuff around here. For example, Frozen Scream. If you don’t like it, well, you don’t like it. But, if you’ve read some of my stuff and you have a vague idea of what I like, you may gauge why this film has such a special spot on my movie-watching list. Its singular, rather oddball vision makes it worth the time of anyone willing to sit still and absorb. And, one of the great things here is that I don’t think it was meant to be anything more than a slasher film like any other. It’s the gulf in between what I think it was supposed to be and what it is that makes it so interesting, so re-watchable.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

HEY, THERES NAKED BODIES ON MY TV!

Directed by Mack Campbell
Media Home Entertainment VHS

THE FILM
The title is not referring to us watching it at home but the fact that characters from TV shows we loved are suddenly naked on the big screen, right before our eyes. If this movie had been made in the 60s, the three shows chosen would have been Hazel, The Munsters and Bonanza and it would have been a very “interesting” movie. Mainly for pervs. But, in the 70s, things are just perfect. The movie consists of three segments parodying Happy Days, Welcome Back Kotter and Barney Miller. And, the parodies are filled with naked people. Most of these naked people are having an awesome time, probably due to their nudity.

In its own special way, this movie is superb. Setting aside the nudity, we have…A strange linking device in a TV studio with a janitor and a naughty clown. There are very odd pornographic cartoons that keep cropping up. There’s a “Very Special” montage at the end. And, there are the parodies themselves. Having been a fan of Happy Days and been familiar with the other shows, they feel pretty right to me. Kotter is set in the classroom. Barney Miller is set in the police station. Happy Days is set in The Fonz’s (The Bonz!) apartment. Each bit goes on a little too long. Nude people dancing around and groping one another (although the guys don’t always get that nude) can only sustain one for so long. The Happy Days segment is more of a series of naughty couples coupling. The other two are just piles of nudity….and all of it is covered with…a laugh track!

That’s the super-special touch. The very first time the laugh track goes off…the movie enters another realm. It’s so simple and yet so perfect. The actors are different, yes. But, a lot of the jokes were no worse or better than the actual jokes in the shows themselves and the characters are the same. The laugh track nudges every parody that much closer to being exactly like the original show and, by extension, making everything that much naughtier.

What a strange adventure this film is…I’ve had this tape for years but never thought to review it until right now…The film is so obscure and so strange. Where’d it come from? I don’t have to ask why it was made. I can guess that. Was there another version with raunchier stuff in it? Did the casts of the actual TV shows ever see this? So many questions…

I will admit to some boredom while watching, though. Each segment has its set-up and then the nudity begins and it kind of goes on a few minutes past the point when good structural taste would say “Give it a rest.” But, aren’t most of these films like this? I don’t know. I actually haven’t seen a lot of them. I find it can be hard to watch them.

Hmmm….In the end, I’m not sure these softcore extravaganzas are for me. What can you say about them? Luckily, this one is goofy and strange and it runs a proud and erect rampage over a nostalgic part of my mind, which I appreciate. I really think they should have chosen a fourth show. Laverne & Shirley? Think of the possibilities. The filmmaker struggles to get the film up to a certain running time are amusing but not always thrilling. Lenny and Squiggy and Mrs. DeFazio…Let your mind wander. What exactly is a Squiggy?

AUDIO AND VIDEO
Look at that cover! This VHS tape is a brick. I could slap someone with it and knock them loopy. It looks and sounds as good as the day it rolled off the assembly line. (Hundreds of copies!) And, of course, constant comedic arousal is stimulated by the off-kilter sounds of the laugh track.

EXTRAS
Nothing. But, the video box is one big ad for “The World of VHS”! So, that’s pretty salty.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Once a year, I watch this movie and have a good time. It is a Classic 70s softcore film, in its own way. The odd layout of the film mixed with the strange set-up combined with some lovely nudity make me say “I saw naked bodies on my TV. Hey…”

And then, a crowd of people I can’t see laugh uproariously. We sank back in our chairs exhausted.
07/08/10

Saturday, January 26, 2019

THE FORCE ON THUNDER MOUNTAIN


Directed by Peter B. Good
United Home Video VHS

THE FILM
“The kids will love this one…a colorful blend of wildlife film and science fiction thriller.” says the back of my United Home Video VHS box. I’d say it’s skewed more towards wildlife film. And, I’d say the kids might just be able to stay awake during it. I had trouble myself and, perversely, that just made me watch it a second time. Jimmy The Boy Wonder has not been overthrown as my favorite kids movie because this one is in a special place to the left of things.

“Father and son embark on a camping trip in the wilderness near mysterious Thunder Mountain.” The son’s name is Rick. I forgot the father’s name. Apparently, so did the person writing the copy on the back of the VHS.* Dad gets a lot of voiceover. He works too hard. His son doesn’t want to go on the trip. Father is hoping this trip will bring them closer together. At one point, Dad’s voiceover breaks into a song about going on a trip to Thunder Mountain with his son. I loved it.

“Old Indian legends tell of strange lights emanating from the top of the mountain, and all manner of peculiar occurrences are said to take place there.” 1,000 years ago the legends began. There is a prologue set in 1888. A couple of miners get chased off of the mountain after getting showered with rocks and saying “Bullfeathers!” It takes Father and Rick (maybe “Father” is his name, Father Jones, Actuary?) several days to hike to the mountain so it’s not something folks can wander onto by accident. I’m imagining quite a few Sasquatch also have legends about this mountain, too.**

“As the boy and his dad approach the mountain, strange things begin to happen.” I don’t think they’re referring to all the wildlife stock footage but they could be. Remember how all the old review books used to comment on how much stock footage The Prey had in it? Well, Force bests it, big time. In fact, there are wonderful moments when the film seems to be just about a father and son wandering through the woods looking at nature. And then, the director (Peter B. Good) remembers that this is supposed to have a narrative and the “strange things begin to happen”.

“Powerful gusts of wind come from nowhere and destroy their camp. Later, the two are nearly crushed by a falling tree.” All true. It also sends the words “Go Back!” along the wind. This force actually teleports them into the middle of a desert at one point. It means business. But, very casually, the father and son continue moving towards Thunder Mountain (DA-DAAAA!!!!!).***

“They feel that they are being watched when there apparently is no one around.” Rick feels like he’s being watched. Father keeps shrugging it all off. Until, he vanishes into the desert and almost can’t get back. “Separated from his father, the boy comes across Om, a bearded old man who claims to have lived a thousand years on Thunder Mountain.” He says he is from the planet Ariana. He’s been living on the mountain and sleeping under a big rock, waiting for someone to take him home. He has engineered all of the incidents with his “Thought Translator”. It looks like a UFO-shaped rock. When Om thinks something, it immediately happens. He says that he is using “The Force”. What is the secret of this mysterious place?

“What is the secret of this mysterious place?” Hey! The copywriter and I are on the same page.

“To an innocent youngster with no malice in his heart, Om reveals all in this colorful blend of wildlife…etc…” Om doesn’t reveal much. He hands Rick the “Thought Translator”. During a bear attack, Rick uses it. Om says “Fusion is Complete” and lets Rick keep the “Thought Translator”. Then, Om leaves (I think) in a flying saucer. Rick is reunited with Father and their dog and they leave and I still couldn’t quite figure out the point of all of it.

But, the wildlife footage is wonderful. I learned more about beavers here than anywhere else. It’s such beautiful country that they’re in. Nothing can get in the way of that. Not even the “Adventure”, which is so low-key it’s amazing. To appropriate a review cliché, it seems to have been made by nature filmmakers who had heard about Star Wars and wanted to incorporate all that “Sci-Fi” that the kids love into their movie. And, it’s fascinating. But, it can make you sleepy.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
The audio is fine. The quality of the print is rather washed out and cheap-looking. It looks like one of those 70s Nature/ Bigfoot documentaries that were made by Sunn Classics. Do I need to say that I think it looks awesome?

EXTRAS
For The Force On Thunder Mountain? The VHS? Keep reading, Chester…

FINAL THOUGHTS
I liked it. But, I can’t figure out who the heck it would have been made for. After about 15 minutes, I could see kids wandering around the theater, bored silly. And, after 20 minutes, my wife was telling me to turn it off. The curiosity factor drove me along. Why was this made? Who was it made for? Why is there no screenwriter credited? Why, why, why? American National Enterprises “presented” the film. The only other film I have from them is Didn’t You Hear. Now there’s a film to review. Maybe next time.

*Hey! I stand corrected. The credits list him as “Father”. “I don’t want the people to know the Father’s name.” “But, isn’t…” “No! They must not know…They must never know.”

**And, in Bigfoot Video stores, The Flord On Blunder Moundland is a big renter. The Land of the Sasquatch never went DVD. They have no use for the “Commentary”. They regard Hi-Def as foolishness, especially during the Windy Season. (October.)

***Every time we see the mountain, regardless of what’s occurring in the narrative, there is an enormous musical sting.

****Their logo is accompanied by a shot of an eagle. That shot, at least I think it’s the same shot, appears as stock footage in the film.
03/11/10

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

DESPERATION RISING

Directed by Jason Holt
Legacy Home Video VHS

THE FILM
There’s a possibility that Executioner Part II has a new Double Feature mate. It’s time to find my copy of Nomad Riders and pair that with Frozen Scream. “All The Way! All The Way! All The Way!” The madness of Jason Holt’s Desperation Rising has charmed me. The drug addicts, the prostitutes, the people at the awesome seminar (watch and enjoy!), the shoot-outs and punch-ups…

…it’s not really an action film…I thought it was going to be…

…bits of action do break out and it feels like it should be an action film but most of the time it’s strangely dubbed people doing things that are odd…

…but glorious……it does fit the mold of Executioner Part II. Sort of a world where everyone is terrible to everyone else. And, everyone is just out to take advantage of anyone to make some cash or survive. Executioner Part II ends on a bleaker note. Desperation Rising gives its folks freedom on the rocks. Maybe it’s a biblical thing? Maybe it’s a Big Rock thing? I don’t know.

People argue and swear. Music plays so loud that it’s tough to hear the arguing and swearing. Video captions give us info that doesn’t quite make sense and throws in the exact times, just to keep us on our toes. There is a creepy Red Room. There is a series of odd haircuts. There is some space-age editing and, at the seminar, an African American gentleman says “The black man be coming up in the world.” I had thought Amos & Andy went off the air around 1960. Maybe this is Andy’s son?

A bunch of bad guys deal drugs and keep women in The Red Room for prostitution. Other guys and gals go to a seminar of some sort. Other people hang around and appear and disappear. And, I’m never quite sure where I am and then it ends.

The movie is a smear. Things happen. They make no sense but possibly they’re all part of the strange, beautiful (and crowded) world that exists in Jason Holt’s mind…and what a place that must be…I don’t know what I’m watching. It’s a movie but it could be a miniseries. It’s a movie but I could just be loaded.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
Smeary looking. The audio is so disconnected that I didn’t even know where I was supposed to be looking half the time. It’s great. Jason Holt’s vision and the way I think about the world are not so far apart. I had a fever a few weekends ago and everyone and everything I saw and felt replicated the groove of this movie. Fever Dream is such a perfect term for this movie…

….I don’t want to go the Red Room…

This movie is right up there with Samurai Cop. It’s better than Kill Squad. These are recommendations of the highest order.

EXTRAS
I sure wish there were some.

FINAL THOUGHTS
I’ve watched it three times and, for some reason, it’s not sinking in. It’s a hazy series of disconnected scenes. I do know, however, that you need to find a copy and you need to watch it. Immediately…any deficiencies in this review are my own.

Possibly one of the pinnacles of Loopy Filmmaking. Drugs, thugs, prostitutes, rocks, running around, kung fu and insanity…it all means something…I just don’t know what. I’ll watch it ten more times and get back to you.

I had to have two sets of Final Thoughts because I have no “Final” Thoughts about this movie. All thoughts are still appearing. Making their feelings felt in their own special “Jason Holt Is Everywhere” way.
07/22/10