A series of reviews and random bits of pop culture ephemera that I'm watching, reading, listening to or whatever.
Thursday, November 21, 2019
EVILS OF THE NIGHT
Directed by Mardi Rustam
Shriek Show/Media Blasters DVD (Now out on Vinegar Syndrome Blu)
Why does Mardi Rustam hate me? I’m pretty sure I’ve never met him. I’m also pretty sure he’s probably a real nice guy. It seemed that he might like me at first. He top-loaded his film Evils Of The Night with sexadelic shenanigans that seemed to say “Welcome to my Nude World. Enjoy.” But, the nudity and such began to wear me down. It became less fun. By time I was 45 minutes in, I even hated me.
Evils Of The Night smells funny. You know the feeling, You lean against a wall or a couch and you smell something and it ain’t on your shoe. You sit there, sniffing and frowning. What the hell is that? Where is that coming from? Why does this odor haunt me? Evils Of The Night looks like a film. It has actors you’ll recognize in it. It has a decent spaceship model at the beginning and the end. And yet, that’s not me, is it? No. I’m as clean as a cloud after a rainstorm. Evils Of The Night, let me see your hands!
A bunch of aliens land on Earth to kidnap and do something or other to young people. Why? To save their planet, I would imagine. What is it they’re doing? I’m sure they told me, but I’ll be damned if I can remember. Let’s just say they need to drain blood. And, let’s just say that John Carradine, the head alien, needs the blood to replenish his people’s wasted world. He has help from Julie Newmar, Tina Louise, Aldo Ray and Neville Brand. Holy crap! That’s a lot of recognizable help. The first half hour of this movie is loaded with nudity and fooling around. The second half hour has a lot of running around combined with a large amount of prowling around. The final half hour has our main characters tied to posts and threatened by Neville Brand. It all feels a lot like Evil Town, which has a similar plot and which I re-watched for this review and…I liked Evil Town more than Evils Of The Night. Maybe that’s why Mardi hates me. He knew I liked Evil Town better. I don’t know.
When folks who have never made a movie end up with bad dialogue, awful characters and ripe acting, you take it and move on. When a seasoned pro ends up with the same, I can feel the disdain. Watching this movie was like buying a DVD at a store where the hip cashier clearly hates you and the choice you’ve made even though he or she would be out of a job if you weren’t buying that DVD. No one comes away happy.
Evils Of The Night, sure, has its charms. Nudity, gore, fun character actors and a beach scene or two lends itself to something that isn’t all bad smells and strange stains. But, at the same time, I feel like Mardi may have been laughing at me while I watched this film. He created the film and just left it there with the knowledge that one day I would watch it and his feelings for me would become clear.
Why, Mardi, why? “Mardi” is Polynesian for “world”. You’ve got a great name, Mardi. Why be so mean? Can’t we discuss this? I’m a big fan of Eaten Alive.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Sounds fine. My DVD was full frame. Actually, there were very tiny lines on the top and the bottom. What would that be, 1:45? It looks great. It didn’t have that shiny/hazy look that I usually associate with films from this time period.
The Vinegar Syndrome Blu looks beautiful. (As does their Evil Town Blu, which I think is a much more fun film.) If you want to watch this goofballery looking gorgeous (I did), pick it up.
A decent preview that could trick you into watching it if you didn’t know better. There are also some stills and posters that feature tremendously prominent nipples on the young lady being restrained by aliens on the cover.
There were some other previews. The only one I watched was The Being. I’ve finally got it on Blu.
The Vinegar Syndrome Blu has some fine extras. Explore!
I watched Evils Of The Night. As I watched it, I thought I heard the director laughing at me. When you think “Well, not as good as Evil Town…”, something has gone horribly wrong somewhere. The sad thing is: I’ll probably watch it again. I’m just like that.