LOVE ME DEADLY

Directed by Jacques Lacerte
Video Gems VHS

THE FILM
“The word is necrophilia.”

Do you remember when “The Bird” was the word? Those were good times. Lindsay Finch has just learned the new word. You’re going to want to bring some sanitary wipes.

There’s nothing like those 70s American pre-Halloween horror movies. They all have their own individual feel and yet they are definitely of their time. They’re sleazy, a little sloppy and, generally, so off-handed in their deviant behavior that they can be completely disarming. It’s great, isn’t it? No formula, no rules. Excellent. Almost all of the time.

Lindsay lives in a big, big house in Los Angeles. She’s tall, thin, beautiful and bountifully bosomed. But, she misses her father who we see in sepia-toned flashbacks. There is a way, though, she can get close to her Dad again. It involves going to funerals. It just might possibly also involve kissing the dead men in the coffins. A creepy mortician spots her at several occasions and invites her to join his exclusive “Necrophilia Club.”

Enter Lyle Waggoner. I’m not sure what Lyle Waggoner is doing in this film, but it’s him. He plays Alex, the man who Lindsay marries. (She reminds him of Dad.) But, they can’t consummate the union because…

Alex is alive. See the quote at the start.

It is, probably, a film that very cleverly contrasts what should be a classic romance between a beautiful man and a beautiful woman with that woman’s damaged view of what love is. I’m sure the people who made it could tell us that that’s what they had planned but, to me, it just seems confused and a bit disappointing.

It is a drama about a woman coming to terms with her necrophiliality. There is a romantic musical interlude. There is drama in the bedroom. There is a 70s party. There is a studly fellow who gets a little rowdy. There are women who wear black mini-skirts to funerals. But, all of this good time Charlie-stuff collides with what seems to be a different movie.

There is a rather disturbing scene where the mortician brings a young prostitute (think Midnight Cowboy) to the funeral home and kills him in preparation for some necro sex. There are nude people writhing around dead bodies and a sick twist or two waiting at the end. This collision makes for a conflicting adventure that doesn’t really go far enough in either direction.

The first time I watched Love Me Deadly, I thought it was all right. The person I watched it with spent the whole time saying “I thought this was going to be a different movie.” (There’s a distinct possibility that I was thinking the same thing.) We never figured out what that different movie was. The second time I watched it was for this review. My thoughts: If you like 70′s American horror films, this is a good one but, sadly, not a great one.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
Old VHS print quality. Perfect. Slightly muffled. Every once in a while the soundtrack would crackle loudly. I called them “Static Kisses.”

EXTRAS
No.

FINAL THOUGHTS
If you’ve heard about Love Me Deadly, you’ll want to see it. It starts off strong and then backs further and further away from where you think it’s going. It doesn’t really keep you guessing. It just inevitably moves towards its ending. Worth a watch but there are better films out there to hunt down. It just occurred to me that Love Me Deadly is the shorter, less graphic version of Nekromantik 2. One has Lyle Waggoner in it, so the choice is up to you.

11/30/06